The construction of a world with equal opportunities and respect for boys and girls happens every day, when*adults reflect and (de)construct prejudices and paradigms, in the way they educate their children, and in the examples and messages they transmit to them.
Messages to say to girls
1 There is no such thing as ‘girl’s play’ and ‘boy’s play’
You can run, jump, get dirty, scream, laugh, climb on things. You’re fast, you’re smart, you’re strong. You too can be a princess, or a heroine , or whatever your imagination allows. Or play house and food. And if the boys want to play with you too, that’s cool! When everyone plays together it’s always much nicer.
2 There is no ‘girl’s toy’ and ‘boy’s toy’
You can play with ball, video games, cars and aircraft. You can play with superheroes, board games, riding games. Read action-adventure comics. Dolls, cooking games, painting are also super fun. If you can play with everything, why play with only half?
3 There are no ‘girls colors’ and ‘boys colors’
Did you know that blue was once a color used by girls? And that pink was a boy’s color? Colors are just colors. Adults make up arbitrary classifications that suddenly change. It’s not worth believing that this rule is for real and that it really means anything. You have the right to like and use whatever color you want. And you have the right to dislike some color too.
4 Child doesn’t date
You don’t have boyfriends. Child doesn’t date. Child plays and studies. You don’t have to worry about your behavior or your appearance for someone to like you and want to date you. There are adult people who date and adult people who don’t, even. When you grow up you will like someone and you will be able to date if you want to. Someone who also likes you exactly as you are, respects and admires you.
5 No one can touch your body without consent
Your body is yours alone and should not be touched by anyone without your express consent. Never allow them to touch your private parts. And you shouldn’t touch anyone’s private parts, even if asked. If someone touches your body without asking your permission, walk away and say, “I don’t want you to touch me. No one can touch my body without my permission.” And tell everything to an adult you trust.
6 Never touch anyone’s body without consent
Always ask permission before touching someone’s body, especially another girl’s. For anything. Ask phrases like, “Can I take your hand?” or “Can I hug you?”. Always ask for permission. And if the answer is no , then no . Do not insist.
7 We will always believe in you
We know that being a child in this world is very complicated. And being a girl is especially complicated. That adults don’t take you into account or talk about you as if you can’t understand what’s going on. But if you feel threatened, for whatever reason, count on us. We will always believe in you and we will protect you.
8 Love your friends
Girlfriends are the most precious asset a girl can have. They will be your companions and will share joys, sorrows, adventures. You will be able to count on each other and you will experience very similar things. Girls aren’t envious or gossips and it’s not worth competing for boys’ attention. Friends will be there for you forever.
9 Never Allow Someone To Distract You
The first thing you need to consider in any relationship you are in is your own physical and emotional integrity. If someone hurts your body or hurts your feelings, defend yourself, protect yourself, warn other people, walk away. It doesn’t matter if that person is a friend, is a teacher, is one of your parents. Don’t accept emotional blackmail. You are a strong, intelligent girl and you will always be loved for who you are. Don’t accept being treated for less than you deserve. And you are a fantastic girl who deserves to be treated with complete respect by everyone.
10 You Have the Right to Say ‘No’
If something bothers you or makes you uncomfortable, say no. And if someone isn’t respecting your “no”, walk away and communicate with other adults. You don’t have to worry about pleasing people. You don’t have to agree or consent to something to preserve anyone’s feelings. Your feelings and your physical and emotional safety must always come first. You don’t have to accept or agree with everything they say you should do, be or feel. Especially if these guidelines lead you into unpleasant situations.
11 You Should Take Care Of Yourself First
It is important to know how to choose, buy and cook your own food. Take care of cleaning your own clothes. Know how to keep the house where you live clean. It is important to know how to take care of yourself. No one is under any obligation to do this for you. If you are ever in a marriage relationship, these responsibilities must be shared, so you must know how to do your part. But always remember that taking care of yourself is your primary responsibility. Collective spaces must be taken care of by everyone who lives there, sharing tasks equally. You are under no exclusive obligation to care for the home or care for others.
12 You Must Protect Yourself
You’re strong, you don’t need a man protecting you, and it’s important that you know how to protect yourself. May she learn to recognize occasions when she feels insecure, be able to create a circle of trust and protection strategies for herself. To cultivate a healthy distrust of people and situations. Unfortunately this is a very dangerous world for girls. It is a world where people are attacked, harassed, raped, just because they are women. Strengthen your heart and learn to fight.
13 You are not a decorative object
You do not exist for the purpose of beautifying the environments where you are. You don’t have to worry about being seen, analyzed and cataloged all the time depending on how you dress, how you dress, how you look. You are more than something to be seen, admired and praised for your beauty. Because you are much more than just a “beautiful” thing.
14 Your Body Isn’t Your Main Attribute
This is a world that tricks girls into thinking they need to look and be a certain way. And girls are deceived for many reasons: so that the industry sells more and more products, so that they are always insecure and fragile about their appearance… But you are not defined by your appearance. If a person approaches or moves away from you just because of the way you look and not the way you are, then he is not really for you. You are a smart, funny, smart, strong and truly special person. It is much more complete than its outward appearance. And that’s the most important thing. If someone is not able to see, value and desire you for the right reasons, then that person is not fit to love you. And her validation means nothing.
15 You Don’t Have To Hide What You Think
You don’t need to hide your ideas and opinions for fear of being against someone. If you are smarter than the people around you, then how lucky are these people to be able to hear what you have to say! You can be objective, clear, direct, speak bluntly – if you want to. Don’t allow your word to be interrupted or underestimated.
16. You don’t have to be delicate, or sweet, or nice
Be polite. Education, politeness and kindness are important virtues for all human beings to live in society. But you don’t have to be nice, or smiling, or gentle, or sweet, or considerate, or even kind if you don’t want to. You don’t exist for the sake of meeting other people’s expectations.
17. You have the right to be angry
Everyone has intense feelings and you don’t have to feel guilty about it. You have the right to express your indignation. You don’t need to forgive anything or anyone if you don’t feel ready yet. You don’t even have to seek conciliation all the time. There are even moments when it will be precisely this energy that will protect you from abusive actions.
18. Privilege other women
There are wonderful women out there, who research, produce, build, invent, create, perform. Choose women. Buy from women, watch women, read women, hire other women’s work. Do not believe it if you are told that something done by a woman is inferior or imperfect. Privileging other women is strengthening a network that will strengthen yourself.
19 This Is Still Not A Good World For Women
This is a world where girls are still not treated as well as boys. Therefore, you must always be careful not to suffer injustice or lose rights. You must be vigilant not to suffer abuse and violence. There are wonderful women out there fighting every day to make this world a better place for girls like you to live. But for now, you still need to be very careful.
20 Nothing Justifies Violence
Violence is just violence. It’s unjustifiable. It does not signal that someone is strong, but that they are incapable of resolving any issue in an honorable, respectful and civilized way. It is a sign of weakness, not strength. If you feel angry, which is normal, it can spill out through other mechanisms. Hurting other people is absolutely unacceptable. So never allow anyone to commit any kind of violence against you. Neither physical, nor verbal, nor psychological. Defend yourself. Seek help. Always protect yourself.
21 Weddings Aren’t A Sign Of A Happy Ending
I know that everything you see and everything you are told makes you think that marriage is the best thing that can happen in a girl’s life and that when she falls in love and finally gets married her life has a “happy ending”. In reality, relationships are complicated, they require maturity from everyone involved to work. And marriage is a very serious thing that can be great, but it can also be very difficult and heavy for a woman. It can go right, but it can also go very wrong. It is not falling in love, getting married and having children that defines your life’s purpose. Marriage may or may not happen in a person’s life – and it’s not even the most important moment. Your destiny is not to be chosen by someone else, your destiny is to choose yourself and make the best of it.
22. Motherhood can be a burden
In our society, motherhood can be (and almost always is) a heavy burden for women. Being a mother is not the most important thing in a woman’s life, it’s not something that will complete you in anything. Being a mother is a job. It is a very difficult job to carry out and requires intense and extreme dedication. Unfortunately, today, there is almost no supportfor mothers, and boys are not under the same pressure to assume their share of the responsibility of raising their children leaving the woman overwhelmed. Children are a social responsibility and no woman can take care of a child alone without giving up much of her life. Only with support is it possible to enjoy the good part of having children, which is being able to help in the formation of another person, watching them grow and being able to enjoy the love that arises between mother and child.
23. You’re not like everyone else
I know the world won’t treat you like you deserve. Who will try to force you into a pattern to accept you. Who will try to crush your self-esteem, tell you you’re not good enough, all the time. I know the world will try to convince you that you are inferior to boys, less special and powerful than them and that you must obey and admire them. I know the world will try to convince you that other girls are your enemy, that you should fight them to please other guys. But I also know that you are a unique girl. That you’re not like everyone else and that your big battle is to show what you came for. Who you really are. No defaults. No instruction manual to follow. And I know this can be especially difficult because you will have to fight. You were born a girl and you will have to fight all the time to be who you are. Know that you are not alone in your battle. You are not like everyone else.
